The power of compassionate and soothing words for someone who is grieving represents a beautiful way for us to express our support, with empathy and kindness. Supporting a loved one during these challenging times also means choosing the right words and being available to truly listen.
Why do Soothing Words Matter to a Person who is Grieving?
After losing a loved one, the grieving person is facing a very difficult time. It is important to understand that mourning is a completely natural reaction to losing someone you love, no matter if it is a spouse, a parent or a friend. Choosing the right words plays a fundamental role and they must be carefully considered.
Avoiding Clumsy Phrasing and Expressions to Avoid
Several specialists indicate that generic, empty expressions should be avoided. Among these, let’s mention:
- “Things will get better with time.” or “Time heals all wounds.”
- “You need to move on.”
- “I hope you will overcome this situation.”
- “You must feel relieved because they are no longer in pain.”
- “You must feel relieved because she did not suffer.”
- “You are stronger than this.”
Examples of Comforting Words, Depending on the Situation
First of all, remember that choosing the right words is important and that they should be adapted according to if you are addressing a loved one, an acquaintance, or even a child who has lost a loved one.
Below, here are some suggestions for what to say to a grieving individual. We have taken these words both from literature and the ones that are most frequently used:
For a Grieving Friend or Loved One:
- “I want to let you know that my heart is with you during these trying times.”
- “I was deeply saddened to hear this news.”
- “I can’t imagine the pain you are experiencing at the moment.”
- “I am by your side if you need any help.”
- “You know, I will cherish the wonderful memories I have of …”
For a Grieving Colleague or Acquaintance:
- “I share your sorrow during these trying times.”
- “Please accept my warmest thoughts during these difficult times.”
- “My thoughts are with you and your family.”
- “I am here for you if you need me.”
- “I am truly sorry for your loss.”
For a Grieving Child Who Has Lost a Loved One:
- “I am heartbroken by the news of (name)’s passing.”
- “My thoughts are with you during these difficult moments.”
- “If you need my support, I am here.”
- “Know that I am by your side and my door is always open.”
Of course, these are just a few examples of soothing words intended to comfort a grieving person and there are many more. It is important to remember that the message must be imbued with empathy and kindness.
What to Say if Words Are Not Enough?
Soothing words are a way of demonstrating that you are here for the other during these difficult times, but how can you comfort someone who is grieving when words do not come to you easily?
Listening and Presence
After losing a loved one, the grieving person may simply need to talk about their ordeal, in which case listening carefully can be of great help.
In this type of context, you can offer the grieving person the opportunity to share what they are experiencing and show your understanding of what they are currently going through.
Active and empathetic listening can be lifesaving. Give them all the time necessary to express what they have on their mind.
The Importance of Tone and Body Language
While you are actively listening, do not become passive. Allow the person to tell you what they are feeling, while you reinforce their words with empathetic and kind responses.
Show interest in what they are sharing by leaning slightly forward to demonstrate that you are genuinely lending an ear. Avoid crossing your arms, as this may suggest defensiveness in response to their words.
Be yourself while remaining attentive. Maintain eye contact, nod when needed, and employ respectful and consensual touch if appropriate.
These kind gestures will help the grieving person feel at ease while they are expressing themselves.
Offer Concrete Help Instead of Generic Expressions
Instead of saying, “if you need anything, just let me know,” offer to go grocery shopping, cook some meals, pick up the children from daycare, tidy up the house, take them to medical appointments, the dentist, or the hair salon, etc.
This way, you will demonstrate in a tangible manner that you are there to support them and are sensitive to what they are going through. Small gestures can make a big difference. Be attentive to their needs so that you can meet them over time.
In short, the key is to express your support with sincerity and authenticity.
At Crématel in St-Jérôme, we offer customized funeral services. We take the time to inform you on various topics, such as how life insurance works in the event of someone passing, funeral pre-arrangements, or our specialized services. We are available to you at all times.
Leave A Comment